I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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