you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
