Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
