"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You ruined the universe
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
