I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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