so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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