The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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