3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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