Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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