i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
