Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
