I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
