I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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