I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
