I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
