We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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