doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
