Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
