You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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