Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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