He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
