2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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