how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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