Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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