She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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