Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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