meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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