I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
