We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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