real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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