Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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