I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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