Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
