Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
