I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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