I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
