Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
