she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You were trust falling into bushes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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