Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
