So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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