So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize