I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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