Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You can't just leave with hair like that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
