Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
