I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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