I feel like abortions should bother me more
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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