Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I understand Curling. That high.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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