Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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