Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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