I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ketchup is God's man juice
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
