She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
