I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
