you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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