So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
