i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Randomize
