Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
