Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize