i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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