You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
